Please excuse my “French” but listening ain’t easy. I’ve spent the last five years listening to people about personal and business related topics. Advisors, mentors, team members, clients, experts, God…even strangers. I’ve listened to them all. Until recently, each time I would listen to someone, it would take me forever to process what they told me. Instead of dismissing it, I held onto what they said. Something was telling me that there was a “gem of wisdom” deep inside. You would probably agree that in order to get 
to the gem, sometimes you have to rake through quite a bit of dirt and debris. If you can get to the gem of wisdom, it will light up your life. But to uncover the gem, it requires you to listen.
Listening requires you to uncover hidden truth. Sometimes I ponder deep thoughts like ‘What is the truth hiding from?” or “Why do blessings wear disguises?” If I were “the truth” or “a blessing”, I’d run around foot-loose and fancy-free. In reality, blessings don’t purchase disguises from Macy’s, people dress blessings in masquerade costumes so that no one else will find them. Truth doesn’t choose to hide it self - people drown it in darkness or cover it in dirt. The point of listening is to dig through the dirt to find the truth and to use the truth to shed light.
When you truly listen, it involves much more than your ears hearing spoken words. It calls for you to use your mind (ability to process thoughts), emotions (your ability to feel) and intuition (your ability to discern right from wrong). Let’s break listening up into three phases:
- Preparing to listen - getting ready to hear and observe
- Listening - hearing words and observing actions
- Responding - how to listen while speaking
To be an effective listener, you should first prepare yourself. Be confident in knowing who you are and where you stand. That way, when you’re listening to another person, you won’t have anything to prove. You won’t feel the need to get your point across or debate with them. This next statement is for the know-it-all’s in the world. Listening will require you to admit to yourself that you don’t know everything. Until you admit this, you won’t have the space in your brain to contain the knowledge gained by listening. Open your mind - expand your horizons. Also, go in knowing that most people are going to be on guard. Most people won’t just pour their hearts out to you. Uncovering truth is hard work. Your job is to share with them who you are not necessarily what you think. Be genuine and make yourself both vulnerable and transparent. Yes - you may have to expose your weaknesses. But 9 times out of 10, the other party will feel more comfortable sharing their weaknesses with you. Hopefully, you are constantly developing who you are. Just like personal development, preparing to listen is ongoing.
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