...so that's who stole my cape ;-)
About a month ago, I left my umbrella at the church that I work with in Maryland. So, I asked one of my tenors, Chris, to point me in the direction of the Lost and Found so that I could look for it. He went with me to look, and when I couldn’t find it, he offered me one of the many umbrellas that he owns. Standing in the hallway, I struggled momentarily to accept the gift. (…remember, we’re talking about an umbrella…not a kidney…) After receiving the umbrella, I couldn’t help but think about why it was so hard for me to accept the gift. Why was I about to turn down this simple act of kindness?
The number one reason I resist help at every turn is because I don’t like giving up control. When it comes to my personal bubble, I like to be in control of everything that happens, and that’s darn near impossible. By accepting help (in whatever form it may take), I have to give up control of my self-sufficiency. That’s a hard thing for an autonomous person to do. Especially, when I don’t have many other options. Let’s take this umbrella situation. I could have bought another umbrella, or continued to look for mine. But it was 9:30 at night, and I had a three hour drive ahead of me. Not to mention, I’m building a business on a shoestring budget, so my money is earmarked for more important things. So at that moment, I had to admit to myself that I wasn’t in control of my situation. But as you’ll see a little later, I was more in control than ever before.
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