Have you ever undercharged for your services? Or maybe you’ve done work for free because you lacked confidence. You can tell the truth…I won’t rat you out. Honestly, I have given away more services than I care to count. Not because I could afford to do it, but because I lacked understanding of how pricing works in the minds of my clients. 

In July, I gave away a training program worth $2250 for a mere $400. And my wife teamed up with our good friend to run an intervention (i.e. we discussed what an idiot I was.) What I realized was that I know how pricing works…in theory. But what I did not understand is how my customers view the price I place on my services. It all boils down to perception. Let’s watch and learn.

A few nights ago, my cousin Natasha brought my sister Teah a pair of like-new size 9 designer boots to try on. As Teah opened the box, she was trying to decide whether she wanted to accept the boots or not. She remained pretty indifferent toward the boots until Natasha said, “girl, these are 300 dollar boots”. My sister’s response: “I LOVE THEM!” LOL!

I was in stiches. Why? Because I have priced myself out of the market so many times, refusing to charge what I was worth. And that night I realized that my price would have simply changed my prospect’s perspective on the value of my services. Let’s look at the fashion example again (…and I do have my sister’s permission to share this…I’m not throwing her under the bus.)

My sister dresses very nicely. The value she places on being fashionable is high. So, free boots do not appeal to her fashion sense. Natasha immediately picked up on that and ascribed a value to the boots. It’s called perceived value. As consumers, we buy products based on how much we think they are worth – how much we think we are worth. We purchase goods and services according to the value we place on certain areas of our lives such as clothing, food or education. However, as a small business owner it’s important to think of pricing in reverse.

How much are you worth?

Do you remember the movie, Rush Hour, with Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan? The funniest line in that movie is when Chris Tucker looked at Jackie Chan and said ”DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?”  That line is timeless. In fact, I’ve wanted to ask a couple of people that question in the last few days. And unless they were deaf, their answer would be “YES!”

Hearing and listening are two different things. When you hear something, it can go in one ear and out the other. But listening requires thought. Listening is a full body experience involving your ears and eyes, heart and soul often times causing you to read between the lines.

If you’re in professional sales or people seek you out as a sounding board, chances are you’re a pretty good listener. These are some tactics that I use to improve my ability to listen.

1. Pay attention to what they say (verbals)
2. Pay attention to what they don’t say (non-verbals).
3. Decipher what they really mean.
4. Make eye contact.
5. Put yourself in their shoes. 
6. Use phrases like “I understand how you feel”
7. Keep an open mind.
8. Let go of stereotypes and preconceived notions. 
9. Respect what they have to say.
10. Offer an alternate point of view.
11. Paint a picture for them of the way you see things.
12. Overlap with some things they’ve already told you.

When listening, my goal is to keep the lines of communication open. So I try to avoid anything that will makes people shut down. Here is a short list of things I stay away from:

• Cutting across a person while they’re talking.
• Rushing them when they are trying to think about what to say.
• Unwelcoming facial expressions.
• Starting my point of view with “but”.

Above all, I avoid responding in anger to an angry person. Anger is just a surface emotion. And the point of listening is to decipher what lies beneath the surface.

I love playing a good game of tennis. When my wife and I are out on the courts, I feel free to joke, laugh and play.  There’s nothing funnier than intending to hit a backhand and ending up swatting a fly…that’s what I call it when I totally miss the ball.  (Hey…I’m no Serena Williams, but I really enjoy playing the game.)  Looking up in shame, I utter a quick wisecrack to my wife, pick up the ball…and I serve it. Why? Because the ball is still in my court.

Life is no different. When I miss the ball…or drop the ball altogether, the ball is still in my court. It’s up to me to figure out what to do with it. It’s up to me to make a move. In tennis, I used to lose confidence when I missed the ball. The remainder of the game would be a wash because I gave up emotionally and mentally. Here’s the problem. At the moment I lost hope, I was already defeated. I had already given up.

I talk to people all the time who have given up on dreams or put their goals on the backburner. In fact, I almost became one of those people when I started looking for a full-time job. But it’s important to remember that forgotten dreams or deferred goals are just like the ball that’s in your court. It only takes just a minute to pick it up and serve it. And it only takes a moment to hit it when it comes back to you.  The more people you have on your team, the more time the ball spends outside of your court. It will come back to you every once in a while, but it will ultimately spend more time in the hands of others than in a storage closet collecting dust. 

So make the most of it when, for whatever reason, the ball lands in your court. Think of it as a second chance to serve. To prove what you’re made of. A new opportunity to show your team members, fans or opponents that you are in the game for the long haul. And above all, show them that you are indeed playing with a tennis racket and not a fly swatter.

Just this morning, my aunt informed me that someone in Richmond, Virginia spray painted a billboard of President Obama to look like the Joker from Batman.  I started wondering “what would motivate someone to do that” when I came across an article about Jonathan McCoy. And given the previous news, hearing his powerful speech was a breath of fresh air.

Jonathan is an 11-year old honor roll student from Baltimore, pleading for the elimination of the n-word…not to mention the most articulate pre-teen I have ever heard. And listening to his pastor introduce him, I understand why. Click below to watch the video and experience Jonathan’s speech for yourself:

Leave a comment and tell me what you think of Jonathan’s speech.

Yesterday, I was working on my website and realized that a significant piece of what I do was missing.  Then I started reflecting on two calls that I received this week. Both were invitations to play the piano for special occasions. In responding to the calls, it hit me. Music is my passion and I’m just getting back to the point where I love it again.

Have you ever starting getting paid for something you used to do for free? I’m talking about something you LOVED doing. Something you had fun doing. Then down the road, you stopped enjoying it. Getting paid sucked all the fun out of it. And you felt like your passion for that particular thing was gone. 

That’s not the case.

Passion involves a love/hate relationship. For instance, I love playing the piano. But when it became my job and then my business, I realized how much more I had to learn. I could sit for hours and play the piano at my home. But who will pay me to do that? No one. So I had to add other skills, like administration, communication and leadership. My learning curve was steep and this resulted in me doing less and less of what I love – music. It happens to self-employed people and small business owners all the time.

What did you love to do at one point in your life? Do you still love to do it? Or have administrative issues or marketing plans driven you to hate your passion with a passion? If that’s the case, go back to your first love. I did. Now, I see music with brand new eyes. Music is what I love to do. Marketing, administration and negotiation are what I have to do so that I can do what I love to do. 

What is your first love?